Sunday, July 19, 2009

Attack of the baby touchers.......

I'd like to open a dialogue (with all 2 of my readers....LOL), about WHY people think it's OK to touch and slobber over someone else's baby? I'm talking about situations such as in the grocery store, department store, whatever......where a stranger walks up and physically touches your baby. I want to know from the baby touchers out there exactly WHY they think that is OK?

I was in Target yesterday and stopped on my way out at the snack bar to get a mango smoothie and a soft pretzel (yum) and walked to the other end of the shopping cart to pay the cashier, when I turned around there was a woman (now she looked fine, was clean and appeared sane) not just talking to Andy (which I think is totally fine) but actually had her hand in his carrier touching him! OMG - get your grubby paws off my baby! (I think that actually came thru on the look of my face even though I smiled at her because she backed off a little). She then made small talk about the usual "boy or girl, how old, etc..." ---- as I was pulling him away from her space so she could get to the cash register she said "well....he WAS smiling at me!" Like because he smiled at her that gave her the OK to reach her hands into his space and touch him.

Ok - I'm ready for it......give me the 30 lashings with a wet noodle if you think I deserve it......if you think I'm being over protective and rude......I'm ready!

I have no issue with people looking at Andy, talking to him, asking questions (i didn't even get upset when he used to have to wear the tape on his face and people would ask "what's wrong with him" in their best "I'm curious but trying not to be rude voice")......but TOUCHING is not cool people.....unless you're invited to do so, my vote is don't touch other people's babies!

Also.....If you're a creepy guy - don't approach a mom and a baby who are shopping alone and corner them! That happened last week at Meijers.....a quite dirty man with teeth that were the color of fresh sweet corn cornered me in the bread aisle and totally invaded my personal space while peering his head over Andy's carrier (I have a thing with personal space.....I get claustrophobic if you're in my space)....anyway, I was polite, smiled and tried to move on with my shopping only Mr Creepy McCorn-teeth kept following me (in my space may I add) until it got to the point that I started getting panicky that he wouldn't back off.....I thought in my head "one last try, i'll try to walk away again and if he doesn't back off I'm going to loose the politeness and tell him to back off." I again, smiled at him and moved on with my shopping and he backed off that time.......It took quite an effort to get away though.

I don't get it......I don't think I ever touched someone else's baby un-invited.......have you? Now....I have grabbed toddlers that were headed out the door I'm standing by if I see them running out the door by themselves with their parents frantically trying to chase them down yelling "no, no...Jimmy STOP!!!" Then I reach down and grab them for the parent - because it's for their safety......but I have never reached into someone's baby carrier at touched their child.

Anyway - I'd be interested to hear people from the other side's opinion....where are the baby touchers? I want to know from them why they think it's oK? Maybe I'll change my mind.......but probably not.


Cindi said...

When my sons were little, I was not at all comfortable with anyone touching them, UNLESS I gave my ok or they were family.

That's what it took for me to realize that I, myself, should never touch a baby I did not know without asking permission first. I recall only doing that one the grocery store, a little one was cooing and smiling at me and had the most gorgeous red curly hair. The mother smiled at me and I commented on the hair. We talked about it for a moment and I asked if I could touch the curls. She said it was absolutely fine, so I did. They were even softer than they looked! Of course this was so long ago that I can't even recall if it was a boy or a girl!

I was extremely protective of my boys when they were babies and didn't let others invade our personal space. I'm totally with you on that one too!

Jules said...

I'm with you - I had the same issue with touching the preggo belly too. Luckily the girls sit far back in our stroller so I haven't yet had to deal with any of that.

Did see someone who found little signs she put on her twins' carseats that say "wash your hands before you touch mine" - wonder if something like that would keep people at bay?

Melody said...

I have the sign-- Please wash your hands before touching mine. Got it when my daughter got her Synagis shot to protect her against RSV because she was a preemie with heart defects. Believe it or not, people IGNORE THE SIGN and still touch her. I moved in front of the woman and made a big show of swabbing her down with antibacterial hand wash.

Jenni said...

Here from L&F. Just wanted to say that I am that way about my baby girl. If I know ya, then okay, you know my rules about washing hands first and so on. If I don't know you. I have given looks of fire blazing from every pore of my body. Thank you for addressing the issue.

Anonymous said...

I am 29, TTC for 3 years, and I adore babies. I'd love to cuddle every single baby I see. However, I do NOT touch strangers' babies! When I see cute babies in public, I smile at them and at their parents and maybe tell the parents how adorable the baby is, but I keep my hands to myself. With friends and people at church, I touch the babies' feet or the top of their heads - I don't touch the babies' hands since they stick their hands in their mouths. But I only touch at all if it's someone I know well and if I know I'm not sick. If I am sick (and I'm a teacher so I'm around a lot of kid germs) I don't even touch the babies' moms just so I don't share germs. I can totally understand why people want to touch babies, because they are so adorable, but I don't touch without permission.

Chelle said...

OH no she didn't!! Yeah, I have a thing with my body buffer zone...which I am SURE will include my kids.

One thing I have heard though-Maybe an old wives tale: If you see a baby that is cute, you are supposed to touch it so it doesn't have bad luck.

... I don't believe it. I say, if you see a baby that is cute, first ASK to touch it, then proceed only if it's okay!

Brenda - you can now find me at : said...

Shit i think I might be a touchy baby person!!!! lol
I personally have had many people talk and touch G. I dont mind (well maybe if you were just climbing out of a bin I would). She loves people. I was in a line with her and my mum not too long ago and she held her hands out to the person behind us. They then held their hands out to her. I handed her over. lol

I think belly touching is a no go zone unless your asked to.


Monica H said...

I'm a baby toucher, or I WAS. When I was younger I used to touch babies and coo with them because they were so cute.

Now I don't. But mostly because it's so emotionally hard for me to do. I have a love/hate realtionship with babies. Want to touch 'em and squeeze 'em but it hurts and that in turn upsets me so i don't. Sometimes I'm better off ignoring them.

Chickenpig said...

Hi! I'm visiting from LFCA. The touching baby thing drives me a little nuts. It is 10x worse when you have multiples, too. I would have my attention on one and turn around to find someone with their hands on the other one. As much as the touching thing bothers me, the thing that really freaked me out was a neighbor's friend who wouldn't give me my baby back. She asked to hold her, which was fine, but after several minutes she started getting fussy and I told the woman that I needed to be getting home. She started to bounce A and fuss over her and wouldn't hand her over. My neighbor had to come over and intervene. It was creepy.

Anonymous said...

I DEFINITELY would not touch a stranger's baby. Period. In fact, come to think of it, even with people I casually know, I would always ask before holding/touching.

Io said...

I'm all about cooing and making faces (when I am not feeling bitter and scowling that is!) but I wouldn't touch somebody's baby without permission. It is rude, and screw that woman for being bitchy about it.

♥ Sarah + Illusia ♥ said...

I have a 5 month old daughter and I am fine with people talking to her and asking questions about her. I am sometimes okay with someone touching her if they ask first. If they do not I consider it extremely rude!

I think it is disrespectful to both me and Illusia (my daughter) to do that. Aside from issues with germs there is the fact that they don't know what kind of mood my baby is in.

I actually had someone once wake her up by wiggling her feet in the grocery store after I just got her to stop screaming and fall asleep. I could've strangled that woman with my bare hands, I swear.