I haven't blogged about my second IVF cycle because I feel like I have a tendency towards being a little negative when I blog at times and I wanted to be completely positive in my attitude towards my second IVF cycle.
Today was my HCG level after my second IVF.......the result was 0.1 which means not pregnant by a long shot.
So anyway, I see my doctor tomorrow to discuss what to do now. I spoke with him on the phone today and he said since my embryos are all "perfect" and my lining was "perfect" and my labwork was "perfect" both times......that now he needs me to do some testing to find out why I can't implant ("get pregnant"). Testing for thrombophelia, killer cells, etc...... We'll talk more tomorrow.
So.....now I am walking down a little longer infertility road than I thought I'd be walking down. I thought that we could bypass the low sperm count and the PCOS by doing the IVF.....putting the little embryos right where they need to be......but now it turns out I am a little more broken than I thought I was and I can't seem to get my embryos to implant even when everything is "perfect."
Oddly enough....I think I'm doing ok mentally. Sure it sucks, sure I'm sad........but I feel even more confident that some way, some day, some how I will have my babies. Whether I carry them, whether we adopt them, whether I use a surrogate.......(a work friend offered to be my surrogate today - it was one of the most awesome things anyone has ever said to me)........I know that the road to my kids is just a little longer and more complicated than some (and I'm sure less complicated than some). It's just that.....it's my road and I have to walk it and figure it out. But I know that some how in the future - I will have my kids.